17.10.2005 ~ Sandwich Toaster
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Once upon a time, said Dez with a smile, there was a lonely little sandwich toaster. It wasn't the sandwich toaster's fault he was lonely - it was the circumstance the toaster came into the world that caused his torment (it's definitely a he - I checked!). The only love and affection he would ever know was to to have his plug removed before being banished onto the high shelf.
For 2 years and ten months the sandwich toaster sat on that shelf, occasionally remarked upon with scorn as 'that sandwich toaster'. Until one day a regenesis befell the home of the sandwich toaster. Order began to take hold where once there was only chaos. Indeed it seemed the lord of the flies had a change of heart, as the shadows lost ground to the white - and with this glorious transition came a discovery.
The sandwich toaster found itself being pampered, cleaned and shined, almost like new. It's once severed limb replaced anew, it's opening action lightly lubricated, it's singular purpose restored.
The sandwich toaster has joined ranks with the young kettle and toasterand the aging coffee maker to give new service in the place of light.
Update: 03/11/2004
Unlike the young kettle, toaster and the aging coffee maker - the happy sandwich toaster has failed to toast. Emergency surgery by Dr.Tony Gorey with his magical screw driver of power failed to recover the lost toasting skills and the happy sandwich toaster was pronounced dead. It had missed it's third birthday by a mere 52 days. It's hair-piece was one and a half years old.
Removal will take place next time the bin-man swings around.